This week I thought I would talk about ten defense mechanisms we all hide our truth behind. I know that this is not a comfortable topic. However, most of us have a hard time admitting that our defense mechanism can cause many of the problems we have, especially in our relationships.
However, as we all know, we are responsible for our actions, feelings, and thoughts, and the best way to solve a problem is to get to its root. As you undoubtedly know, it is in all our best interests to understand ourselves so we can serve others with our best version of ourselves.
If you are interested in learning something new about yourself, stick with me as I break down each defense mechanism.
What are defense mechanisms, and why do we use them?
Let me start by explaining what a defense mechanism is; in simple terms, it is our way to stay off conflict, harm, or anything we might see as a threat.
As a part of our survival response, we will naturally protect ourselves from harm or a threatening situation. This is entirely normal and the way things are meant to be. Over the year, we have developed many ways of doing this in every area of life, from guns, what we put in our bodies, our homes or shelter, and how we defend ourselves mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Safety is important to us all to some degree, and this is where defensive mechanisms come in as they help protect us mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even spiritually.
Projection;
In lamins terms, you may ask what projection is; it would be when you feel or do something but blame those around you for the outcome of that feeling or situation.
At one point or another, we all seem to do this. It is one of many different defense mechanisms we seem to grab hold of when we feel threatened, hurt, or afraid.
However, this defense strategy will only push people away and cause harm to you and your closest relationships. Something to understand is no matter who is doing what, we have the power to either stop it or not let it negatively affect us. Whatever the other person’s responsibility, we always hold the most responsibility for how we absorb or handle things.
Introjection;
Introjection is different from projection as with projection; you blame others, and introjection is the adoption or taking of other people’s ideas and treating them as your own. This is also a defensive mechanism, but in this one, unlike with projection and you either being unwilling or incapable of taking responsibility, you are simply using the idea of others as your own because you want the praise and to feel worthy of attention.
Introjection is usually the strategy of an insecure person or a person with low self-confidence or low self-esteem. If you are honest, you will know that the idea or work is not your own. This should clue you in to the problem and what you should do next.
Humor;
We all know what humor is, and this is one of the most common defense mechanisms used to date as it is a way to ease tension and stay off conflict better than anything else outside being assertive in a respectable manner. Out of the two methods, assertiveness tends to be the more honest way of handling tension and conflict. Still, it is far more comfortable to use humor instead, which is why most people choose humor over assertiveness.
Out of all our defense mechanisms, this one is also the one that will cause the least harm to yourself or others, provided you do not take things too far or use your humor to hurt another person intentionally.
Denial;
It is one of the easiest defense mechanisms to fall prey to, especially if facing the reality of your situation is challenging. The definition of denial is a refusal to accept the facts or reality of your situation.
There is no doubt that some situations are just too much to bear. It is so much easier in those situations to deny the truth; as long as you realize that this fact is always going to be the truth and you will have to face it sooner or later, there usually isn’t a problem with denial in the short term.
People do this to protect themselves from the harm that the situation will cause them at that moment. Again sometimes it is better to hold off from the pain until you are better prepared to handle it, but at some point, you will have to handle it, or you will get lost in a world of illusion that will serve no one, not even you.
Blocking;
The blocking defense mechanism is a destructive practice; however, not always intentional; it is a natural reaction. When individuals are threatened, anxious, overlooked, or frustrated, they will engage in a series of behaviors such as responsibility avoidance, conflict avoidance, or aggressive behavior, along with a failure to express knowledge or skill because of an inability to learn or memory retention.
This mechanism is also acted out when you can not handle or accept the truth of your situation or are unwilling to accept or take responsibility for your part in the situation.
Acting out;
This is a defense mechanism that you will see more in children who are incapable or do not know how to protect themselves from harm. Although adults do this as well, it is not as widely seen.
The definition of acting out would be to behave poorly or in a socially unacceptable, often self-defeating manner, mainly to vent painful emotions such as fear or frustration.
It should be noted that if your child or someone you know is acting out, they are not showing or communicating to you because of pain or frustration. Remember that you will need to figure out the true problem to understand or resolve the behavior.
Dissociation;
Dissociation is a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.
This means that you do not feel like yourself but more like an observer of yourself. When it comes to mindful or reflective practices, this can be quite helpful, but to function this way regularly is not a good thing, and it might mean you need help from a professional that can help you get to the root of what caused the disconnection in the first place.
In some cases, this can be a part of a much more severe mental disorder and may require you to be hospitalized for a period of time.
Regression;
The definition of regression is a return to earlier stages of development and abandoned forms of gratification belonging to them, prompted by dangers or conflicts arising at one of the later stages.
So when you notice people stuck in their childhood or acting like a child when they are not one, this is them choosing to go back to that time as though it is their present reality.
We can all get stuck in our past, but regression can be a more severe problem if not addressed.
Displacement;
You might find yourself doing this when you are angry or hurt. I am sure we all do it, either knowing or unknowing.
Displacement is when a person redirects a negative emotion from its original source to a less threatening recipient, which means that you would take your emotions or feelings and blame the other person for them.
You need to understand that when it comes to feelings or emotions, they are yours and yours alone, making only you responsible for them. No matter what someone is or is not doing to provoke the feelings and emotions, they would be unable to if there wasn’t already a problem or void with you. Which is something you should keep in mind before you blame others.
Intellectualization;
This is not a defense mechanism that many would view to be what it is; however, it is a form of avoidance in its own right.
The definition for this would be a person using reason and logic to avoid uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking emotions. Intellectualization can be a helpful way of explaining and understanding negative events, but it is not meant to prevent them altogether.
Take some time to ask yourself, have you ever found yourself doing this? I know I have on one or two occasions. The way to resolve any situation requires you to be able to face the problem, which would make this a poor choice of strategy if you are not working to fix the problem.
Final thoughts:
And we have come to the end of our time together again. So, throughout this article, I hope you have noticed all the different defense mechanisms we have to hide behind.
Whatever your defense mechanisms, it’s important to remember that they are only for protection, not to block you from relationships with others, from moving forward in life, or to keep you from feeling love or connections in this world. Work to understand them and yourself, and you will be able to keep things in check, allowing you to live a much more successful and happy life. Until next week. Namaste.
Leave a Reply