How To Become A Better Listener.

Welcome back, everyone. This week I thought we could discuss how to become a better listener. Not all people have the skill it takes to listen to another person and even fewer have the skill to be a really good listener, yet in order to understand and truly connect with others, you have to have this skill.

I thought this week we could discuss some of the things you must master to become a better or even a master listener. The more you grow in this skill the more you will notice that you will have more success in your ability to understand and connect with others.

If this is a skill that you would be interested in building on then stick with me as I embark on the next step in our journey toward becoming positively improved.

Get Rid Of All Distractions

This world has more distractions than one can keep up with on any given day. Yet to be a good listener you can not be distracted. To be distracted away from what others are saying to you leaves you open to missing a part of the message that is being relayed to you and will lead to mistakes being made and miscommunications.

If you do not have the time to listen to what someone has to say then set aside another time that would better suit you both. It is far better to find a time you can listen than to only listen to half of what they are saying.

Taking the time to listen to people will help them to feel heard and appreciated and to set another time when you are too busy to listen will help them to see that they matter, which will go a long way toward building rapport with them.

Pay Attention To Non-verbal Ques

Communication takes many different forms, the most common is verbal but non-verbal communication can speak just as loudly and will aid you in understanding verbal communication much better.

It is important to pay attention to not only the words coming out of the person’s mouth but also how they are holding themselves and their facial expressions. By paying attention to all of them you will be able to respond accordingly.

However, you also need to pay attention to your own nonverbal expressions and movements as they will be reading you as well. You could be doing everything right and simply be sitting with a blank steer as you listen intently and the speaker could read that you are not interested. It is just as important that you send the right message as it is to receive the other person’s message.

Ask Questions

If you really want to help a person feel heard, then ask questions related to the conversation. Question help not only the other person to feel heard but they will also appreciate that you seek to really understand what they are saying.

Every one of us wants to be heard when we speak and even more, we want to be understood and seen clearly. When you ask questions you can help your speaker feel all these things, which will aid you again in building rapport and connection.

Something to be mindful of though, you must ask relevant questions and to some degree, you have to ask them with a good sense of timing, otherwise, you could confuse or even frustrate your speaker.

Mimic their words back to them

You might think that mimicking someone is rather annoying but in fact, there have been studies that prove that if you mimic the speaker’s words back to them that they will feel heard and understood.

Now, this does not mean that you should be talking the whole time they are, but rather about every other sentence or so just stop them long enough to say “ so you are saying this” which will be enough to help them see that you are keeping up and you understand what they are saying.

Stay Detached

It is really important not to take anything that is being said or that you are hearing personally. The only way to guarantee that you will not take things personally is to remain detached and not take anything being said about you or others personally.

Now, It is understood that this can be a big request when you are someone who is led by emotions but to react to what people are saying exactly in a negative way will only lead to a negative outcome and likely lots of miscommunications.

It is far better for both parties if you listen without attachment and without judgment understanding that whatever, the speaker says is what they believe to be the truth but does not actually make it the truth and of course, you should never stand in judgment unless of course you like being judged.

Final Thoughts:

Now that I am coming to a close on this week’s discussion. I would like to say that becoming a better listener is a skill that will aid both the speaker as well as the listener. Having the ability to really listen to another opens the door for you to understand and really see others as they truly are not as they may be seen by those who are not paying attention.

As always I hope you found this information useful and if you think someone else would find this information helpful, please share this with them. If you would like to share your thoughts on this topic please feel free to do so in the comment section.

Thank you for taking the next step with me along our journey toward becoming positively improved. Until next week, Namaste.