Welcome back, everyone. This week, I would like to discuss the steps you can take to escape domestic violence. Unfortunately, there are far too many people in abusive relationships, and not all those relationships are romantic.
It is surprising how many of the relationships are between parent and child. However, no matter what the relationship is if it is abusive, it is a relationship that needs to either change or end. Therefore, you must pay attention to certain things so that you can find the right help for you.
If you are interested in finding out more about specific steps you can take to seek help, or if needed to escape the relationship, please take this journey with me as we take our next step towards becoming positively improved.
Recognize that abuse is terrible.
The first step is always recognizing that abuse is abuse. If you are an abused person or ever have been, you will know that abused people have an uncanny ability to forgive violent or abusive behavior. Whether an adult or a child, it makes no difference; they tell themselves that the abuser loves them; they are just having a bad day or somehow begin believing they are responsible for the abusive outburst.
This is why the first step has to be that the abused has to recognize abusive behavior as abuse, and they have to acknowledge to themselves and their abuser that the behavior is wrong and needs to stop.
This is not always an easy task; in some cases, just admitting it to yourself is all that is needed to begin looking for a way out.
Pay attention to the pattern.
Another thing you can do is pay attention to the patterns of the abuser’s behavior. Almost every chronic abuser has a pattern of behavior. If you can pin down this person’s triggers or cues that an outburst is about to occur, then avoiding the situation of being abused gets much easier to avoid.
It is also much easier to recognize the behavior as abusive and not just a bad day. This will allow you to navigate every outburst until you can either find a way to create change in the relationship or find a way to end the relationship.
This brings me to step number three.
Decide to change
You, the abused, must decide that change must occur. Whether the abuser agrees or not and whether that means you create change by seeing a counselor to help the relationship find a healthier balance of emotions and behaviors or leave and move on without that relationship.
Making this decision takes a lot of work, to follow through on. Especially for abused women who believe they are in love with their abuser. But if you do not take steps to protect yourself, why would anyone else be willing to help you?
You must always be open to change before you find it or create a way of manifesting it.
Create a plan
However, once you are open to it and recognize it is needed, the next step becomes creating a plan. It is seldom easy to leave an abusive relationship; if you have been in the relationship for a prolonged period of time, the level of difficulty is usually much higher.
This is why you need to create a plan. A plan will help you know that you will never have to return once you get out of that relationship. The certainty that you will never have to return will help you build and apply the reinforcement and courage you will need to leave.
One of the best ways to build this plan is by reaching out to anyone who would help you to implement your plan. And in many cases, this will require a support system.
Get support
Now when it comes to supporting systems, it does not always have to be friends or family. Unfortunately, so many do not have that kind of support system. In these cases, you can turn to your local church or shelter.
You can seek a counselor who can direct you to places that can provide you with resources. If the relationship is physically or sexually abusive, you could contact your family doctor for help.
You could reach out to co-workers or even someone else who you know has experienced the same thing. The important thing is that you reach to someone to whom you can trust to help you.
Use the law
Although, when all else fails, and If you have nowhere else to turn, then the law is better than no options at all. In many cases, it depends on how chronic abusive behavior is in your area as to the level of response you will receive. If the level is high, the response will likely not be to help, but still, it is better to have some help than no help.
In these cases, then, you can Involve cops, social services, and courts either by reporting the abuse directly to them and providing the needed proof or by involving them through a counselor or school, or doctor. Although the system does not always work as intended, it will help with extreme cases.
Again it is essential that you find help, no matter how much or little it might be, to create the change or to get out of the relationship.
Final words
Now that you understand the basic steps of how to escape domestic violence, no matter whether you are an adult or child, hopeful you will take the time to honestly assess if your relationship is abusive and, if it is, what steps you need to take next.
If you know someone who would benefit from this article, please feel free to share it with them. I do hope that this information was informative. If you would like to leave a comment, please feel free to do so, as I would love to read your thoughts.
As always, thank you for taking this step toward becoming positively improved with me. Until next week Namaste.
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