Welcome back, everyone. This week’s newsletter will be a break from the norm and share some of my struggles and experiences as I search for resolutions. If I am being sincere, I do not like to complain, and when I do, I tend to feel very uncomfortable as I feel like I will cause someone else hardship, which is not my intention.
Yet, sometimes a little ranting helps to bring clarity, which I need in my situations regarding my relationships with others. So if you are interested in reading this rant and watching as I do what I do to find some clarity in a chaotic and confusing situation, stick around as I take this next step toward becoming positively improved.
Situation one :
For those of you who do not know, I work a day job and work to build a coaching business in my spare time, which I will admit is quite limited these days. I can be awkward around others as I do not fit most environments. Don’t get me wrong, I am easygoing and tend to be pretty laid back and easy to get along with until you do something against my moral code.
When we come to this crossroads, I find that my mouth can get the best of me. Simply because I have to understand why it is that you did do what you did. I am entirely driven to understand the human condition. One such situation happened this last week when I noticed someone had damaged a supply closet.
So what did I do? I asked why such a thing would be done. I found that people acted like I was preparing to set off a bomb. I mean, I know that I can be a bit forward, but I wasn’t being rude, and I was asking in my friendly voice, so the response I received to the question completely stumped me.
To give an idea of what I am talking about, I asked two people the same question. Person number one response was to answer that he knew that someone needed something out of the closet. But as this person talked, they kept looking at their phone and slowly backing away from me. Person number two tried to relate until they figured out that I wasn’t looking for them to connect to my situation and that all I was looking for was an answer to the question, at which point they tried to turn my attention toward people who worked on a different shift but failed to completely to understand that I was not looking to blame or even get anyone in trouble. I wanted to know why and how I could play my part to cease such behavior. Once this person realized that I would not be distracted from the search for the answer to my question, I found them doing exactly what the other person did as they started to back a way to simply get out of the conversation they were having with me.
Later in the day, I brought this query to my boss and found that he responded better but acted like I was making an issue out of nothing. This response made me realize it was time to drop the conversation and search for the answer myself. I will admit that I was left taken aback by how people responded to the topic of property damage and how they just didn’t want to know or be a part of the solution. I now know that to get to the bottom of things of this nature, I have to be patient, observe, and above all, keep it to myself to find the answers to the questions, and if I can not solve the problem myself, then it just simply will not get solved.
Thus, the relationship I was trying to build with my co-worker to create a better work environment is now dissolved. Have you ever had this kind of problem? If so, let me know in the comment section below and let me know how or if you resolved the issue.
Situation number two:
Another thing you have to understand about me is I am every bit a person of my word, and unfortunately for those around me, I expect them to be the same. However, I find more times than not that there are just fewer people I cross paths with that are of their word. They say one thing but do something entirely different.
One such case happened to me just a few weeks ago. I asked a maintenance man I work with to fix something that was broken for me at work. I told him I would buy the parts for this project but that I needed it done ASAP. He agreed that if I brought the parts, he would do it ASAP.
The next day I brought the parts with me to work for this project and asked if he could find the time to do it today. He said I will get back to you. I waited all day and didn’t hear a word from him. I caught up with him again the next day and asked if he could find the time for this project today. He stated, “ I am swamped today, but I will get back to you sometime today and let you know when I can get this done.
Again, I would hear nothing from him. The next day I told myself that I would text him a friendly reminder, and then I would drop the subject, and if nothing got done, I would find another way. So I texted him that friendly reminder but got no response. It would be another two days before I would get an answer on this subject, and all he said was,” Sorry I haven’t got to your ask. I will get to it next week, I promise.” However, he didn’t get to this project until the beginning of the week following. I admit that I was really grateful that he got to it at all, as I had pretty much-lost hope that it would ever get done.
I am sure he didn’t get the underlying message or lesson about this situation because if he did, he now knows he set the ground for distrust. He did follow through, but not when he said he would, and even worse, I had to work hard for him to follow through and was still placed in the situation of waiting for him to make the time. This happens all the time in relationships with others.
I often wonder if people honestly care about the damage they do when they do not follow through when or how they say they will. See, the one thing I now know is if I can do it for myself, I should, and if I can’t, I might have to accept it will not get done despite what I am being told. This relationship is now hindered in any possible growth, as any relationship is when it does not have a foundation of trust.
What do you think is the solution to helping people understand the consequences of their actions? Or should that be solely left up to our higher powers to resolve? Let me know what you think in the comment section below.
Final Thought:
I know this probably taught you nothing, but this week was more about me being taught, and just maybe my experience and lessons learned hit home with you and helped you see things about yourself or situations you didn’t see before.
However, if you got nothing out of this but a few moments of distraction and entertainment, I am grateful you took the time to read and stick around. Whatever the case, I hope you also make time next week, and maybe you will even bring a friend. I love meeting new people.
As always, that you for watching as I took this next step toward becoming positively improved. Until next week, namaste.
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